I seriously can't stop thinking and
It's killing me
High school and last semester man
What happened to me?
What happened to that person afraid of nothing?
My anxiety gets the best of me now
And I never leave the **** house.

I see that bonfire and how much fun we had
The weird *** cupcakes we made
and I know we tricked some of them
but I don't remember how.

It's the music man
Takes me back everywhere
Maybe that's why I love it so much
It takes me away from the present and puts me some place else
I'm so alone though
And I can't take it.

Why do I even think about the last house?
It was ****** and
the people ******
but I guess it was cheap.

I feel so broke and broken
I don't know how to cope
And I don't wanna bring anyone new into my life
Because it's just the same **** over and over again
They come in interested,
Realize I'm ****** up,
And leave.

She keeps me safe
My heart and my sanity
Having a routine in an unroutine way
Makes everything so much better
Less freak outs
Less pain
So many less break downs through leaking eyes

I love her so much but I don't know what I'm doing
or who I am.

I'm so scared
I'm not sure of what
but I know I am.

I wanna move home
For the first time in my life.

I want to go live with my mom
and truly give up on life.