Red streak within a void of complete despair,
my green eyes analyse almost everybody there.
I gaze upon a potential addiction while removing myself,
from the previous horrors I encountered with those eyes.

When I begin to speak words, I hope they help someone sorrowful,
when I myself was alone, I felt nothing but a void in my soul.
I rely heavily on the embrace of someone else,
which means I myself, am not someone to be admired for strength,
For I too obtain disgusting weaknesses encountered by humans morally.

When I look to myself through the words of anger, I come to realisation that every word I speak is spoken in exaggeration of a woman with issues.
Yet most of the time I can't even tell if I am a woman, girl or a male even at that,
But in a society where it doesn't matter, it almost makes me feel like I don't matter anyway.
A foolish thought to have when people see you raising out of a crowd, I'd agree,
however wherever you are in life, happiness is often defined by your feeling or brain.
My brain has decided years ago it mechanically would follow a path I didn't hope for,
yet here we are today and sometimes I wonder how I got this far.

When the people around me question or interrogate my feelings,
I suppose my emotions should feel a sense of relief yet critical thinking refuses to acknowledge this.
You can plaster me with your white lies of emotional affection,
however there is only so much white lies can do to heal a person.

It isn't about me in the end,
I live to remember those before me and those yet to come.
However, life to me is like a passive movie screen,
we watch, we distract and entertain and what happens at the end?
Who actually stays to watch the credits? Who stays... longer?

I almost envy those who are gifted with excessive amounts of time on the earth,
yet they deserve every element of happiness given with that extended time as those who live on,
are the ones who suffer the miserable of lives.