***** lived on your tongue,
***** lived in her throat.

there's a hiding girl,
she's crying and she's also bleeding.
you bend down, old levi jeans
suffocating your knees.

"it's alright," you say to her, "I promise."
but you can tell she knows its a lie.

her first time riding a bike,
you push her, let her go.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1 -- blast off.
she falls and scrapes her hands.
she earns a scar on her ankle.

you kiss her,
she turns away.

you shush her in bed,
sooth the crying girl.

"don't tell a single soul"

she tells her 4th grade teacher.

13,
nicotine washed into her hair.
she blows, fogs the window,
draws a face -- its frowning
her hair is the same color as her bleeding wrist.

13,
three people are holding her down.
it takes her back to the
sinking rocks she threw in the river,
the sinking mattress she was pushed into.
the old, sad man.

"sedate her,"
make her disappear.

don't kiss her,
she doesn't want to be kissed.



*****,
beads of sweat.
an axe, a noose, and a pool of water in the tub.

she decides on none,
she goes back to the river to find the rocks.