Someone who is depressed or has a "mental disorder", likely won't reach out because of the enormous feeling of helplessness/ hopelessness. Reaching out not only seems pointless, but it also announces to the world that there is something wrong with you; and with depression/drug use, that is the root. Feeling like there is something so wrong that it cannot be fixed.. so why announce it, why not just resolve it. Everyone's a judge these days, which honesty perpetuates that helplessness; why would anyone reach out just to be jestered and obtain the label you fear the most, mentally ill. I dont find myself ill, maybe in the heart. My mind, more like awake to the sickness of the world. Even in my own personal relationships, what should be is not, and what is there should not be. Tension, isolation, judgment, disrespect.. the world is full of it yet not many practice the virtues necessary to have a world they claim to want.. there is no peace, and with so much egotism, i dont see a peaceful place to even lay my head. Turmoil will always be present when people expect more than what they give. My sadness comes from these truths, and knowing the only comfort are in lies and denial. Maybe i am ill. Maybe my reality is distorted from my extreme desire for connections in life i will never find. Maybe this void in me will never be filled and i should just accept it like everyone else seems to be doing. With things and stuff, ranks and class, gossip and judgments, with superficial carrots just to distract me long enough for age to creep in and end it for me..