I'm about to lose her
And I keep trying not to think about it
But that's all I think about
All day
All the time

Soon she'll be far gone
I won't know how she is
I won't know if she is ok
I won't know how she looks
I won't know if she's alive
I won't know how she's living
Heck
I won't even know where she's living

I won't know if she falls in love again
With someone that's not me
Someone more white
Or
Someone more black

Someone that's just not me

I don't know if she'll miss me
I don't know if she'll wish to be back
I don't know if she'll ever want to call me

I won't know what time it'll be
When it's 4 in the a.m for me
When I'm still awake
Scrolling through the pictures on my phone
Scrolling through the poetry that she once wrote
2 and a half years ago for me
And then
For us
But now
She probably will write again
But I won't ever know
Who it's for
Or
What it's for

God forbid if she writes to me
I may not be able to handle it cuz it's gonna hurt and I know it
It's worse than I think
Worse than she can imagine

Cuz
We're still in love
Mad love
Crazy love
Stupid love

But love nonetheless less

But I will know

How much it hurts
And
That
I still will love her always
And
That
She wasn't just the first
She was my last too

Oh **** it hurts
Oh **** I love her