no I can't write but I do it tonight to drown out these emotions that keep coming to light
trapped in my thoughts its always a fight
dark and confused locked out im always abused
not the accused but always the  liar
praying to god please lift me up higher
im not looking for drugs im not looking for ***
im just looking for hugs or someone to text
drowning in pain always feeling the shame
my emotions are nameless but always the same
stuck in my ways with nowhere to go
im ****** up a daze with nothing to show
please pull the trigger im ready to blow
one more down six more to know
i scream but its silent
i dream and its violent
no sleep here for this guy hes waving adios
sometimes i wish i could just be comatos
no more to feel no more to see
**** probably better if you ask me
almost near four she'll be home soon
numbing the pain creating a loom
she takes the hurt and makes it stop
so thankful i am to my knees i should drop
being alone isnt so tasteful
shaking at home its just so discraceful
fighting the urge and wanting to drink
instead i sit down and write as i think
not sure what i say or to who i know how
afterwards mentally i take a bow
letting it out in writing abroad
when she gets home i can sit down awed
feeling less and hoping more
i can do this i feel sure
just another day without a bottle
my mind going crazy near full throttle
soon it will end thanks to my wife
shes the reason i dont take my own life