I want to cry
I want to scream
But I won’t do it
I want to laugh instead
I need to laugh instead
I should laugh instead
I’m going to laugh instead

What do I deserve
How strong am I really
What do I deserve
How blessed am I really
What do I deserve
How privileged am I really
I know how much
I know how much
I know how much

I feel everything you do
But it looks like I’m numb
Or maybe it’s that I don’t feel
At least not the way you can

I want to be your shoulder
I want to be your heart
I want to cry for you
I want to inspire you
But how can I
When I only think of myself

No I’m not going to cry
And I know the reason why
I know what I deserve
And it’s not my own tears
It’s not my own tears
It’s only yours
Because I did it to you
Because life did it to you
And I’m still here
The same as ever
How can I cry
When you beat me to it?

I look at the sun and sky
I squint not in cynical repose
It’s just that it hurts
It’s that simple sometimes
I know why things happened
I was there the whole time
I can take it
I can take being wrong
I can take being strong
Because I am
I am because I can cry
But not about me
Not about me
Only about you
I can cry about you
Even walking the streets
Like being asleep with my eyes open
I can cry
And they won’t know it
Because it’s on the inside
And they think my eyes are red
Because I stared at the sun
And I did
Yes I did
You were the one who burned me
So why do I keep looking up?

But I’ve not had enough
I won’t sink too far
I like to swim
I won’t tell anyone how deep
They might try to save me
I know how long I can hold my breath
Maybe it’s that we’re in the same place
And if you see me then you know
You know how bad it is
Because that’s how bad it is for you
We can swim alone
Or together
But oceans aren’t for dying my friend
It’s only a place to fall
It’s the quiet life
Where everything can only stare
The way I am walking the streets
Dodging the light from above
Because I know it’s you