my room is full of violence
i hear the angry hateful words ringing in my ears
they enter my room and i cannot stop them
these words come from my own mother
when i am 15, i tell myself, i will speak up
when i am 16, i tell myself, i will stand up to her
when i am 18, i tell myself, i will fight back
but i cannot
i am trapped
her words have given me anxiety
her words have given me insecurity
her words have given me self consciousness
her words have given me anger
when i was 8 i vowed to never be like my mother
my worst fear is to be like her
i do not want anyone to feel so trapped as i am in my own home