I wish I were permanently drunk and I wish I didn't wish that. I wish I were permanently hair flying mouth smiling loud talking proud walking drunk in the middle of the day replace the need to say I'm sorry I mean thank you I mean please don't hate me I mean you can hate me but tell me if you hate me don't pretend to be my friend and I wish I were permanently drunk without the drink without the sharp taste that hits the back of my throat like the anxiety which comes with showing that I care without the down it if you dare without the fall without the crawl without the fumbling in stalls I think you might have gotten the idea by now but just incase I'll tell you anyway when I say I wish I were permanently drunk I mean I wish I were permanently in love with myself. I wish I were hands on hips and mouth on lips and a full chest and my absolute best and I wish I could move down a corridor without wincing wish I could speak without convincing myself and you and her and him and them to stay. I wish I were okay. what did I just say? I'm fine. Ok but this poem was not supposed to rhyme. I wish I were permanently drunk or rather I wish I saw myself the way I stare at forests of green I wish I could make myself beam rather it is the ******* the bus with the really pretty eyes and the poets with their words and their desperate tiny cries and I wish I looked at myself and saw sunflowers blooming from the broken parts of my chest and I wish I would just stop for a moment and rest and I wish I were permanently drunk in the middle of the day on nothing but self love and self esteem and self self self scream it like I'm standing on the edge of a pier for the whole world to hear I wish I could stop apologising for my existence well, you know, the universe would shout back, you'll get there. It might just take a little persistence.
an attempt at slam poetry an attempt at self love (neither of which I know how to do)
An old one I'm not too sure about anymore but what the hell x