driving around
and there's only one thing on my mind:
you.

they kept you at bay.
but once they left,
your face and name came flooding back.
drowning every word i ever said to them,
every emotion i expressed to them.
did i even mean any of that stuff?

****, i even told one of them i loved him.
and it was really hard saying that
because admitting that to someone is next to impossible for me to do.
now i'm questioning whether or not
i even truly cared about him.
did i say it because i actually felt it?
did i say it because he was almost my dream guy?
(God knows guys over six feet tall make me uncomfortable.)
or did i say it because i'm afraid to be alone
and i didn't want him to go
and i needed him to stay so i can forget you?

they all told me the same *******
and i believed it all.
i just wanted to hear it from you.

and everyone tells me that i should be over you
by now.
and that everyone that has come after you is better.
they just don't understand that when your own psyche
convinces you that you two are meant to be,
it's impossible to stop thinking of them.