For whatever reason my heart sank deep into the pits of my stomach,
I thought I was okay but suddenly I felt like crying.
There was a growing mountain in my throat and it became very hard to breathe.
Why is this happening?

Fear, that's what it is. Who am I afraid of this time?
Failure?
Though his stench has followed me along the past couple of years I didn't want to think of him today.
Who said you failed?

Apart of my existence it seems is to **** any hope I have inside before anyone else could. How will you ever make it past the first step if you're too afraid to try?
Knowing this still didn't quell my trembling hands and racing heart.
What am I so afraid of?