My greatest disappointment (in this moment), is feeling foolish
about what I believed and chose to swallow as truth: that I was extraordinary and enough. For him.

I mean, he was dynamite convincing; obliterated my doubts and healed me all at once; showed me love and then came "but" out of somewhere it always existed.

I hate this love **** -- this roller coaster movement that
scrambles my compartmentalized thoughts and accelerates my fear and loathing of something that is meant to be incredible and beautiful.