My dreams whisper sweet things And surreptitiously speak to me My waking words are rote and empty -spilling with hypocrisy Yet their comforting embrace Simply bring smiles to my face Filling my mind while I'm asleep
They send messages lined with silver That vanish when I wake To bring about a dull and listless form Who is shaping my last mistake You see I wake in a storm Simultaneously feeling constrained To my bed I can't get up while there's no filter For the rush of noises in my head
If there's a difference between What you know and what you believe Then why is it not as easy To imagine my reprieve Why can I only experience a vivid life While I sleep Then once again wake up To this Fear Doubt and Anger Choking me
Invoking me by pushing buttons Of their endless promises To for certain be found in youth While my vision is livid sinning Contemplating and pinpointing Who too close is uncouth You sit there and feed my veins An explanation to your lies With all the compromised Washed up water Memorized methods Coping mechanisms While it's your heart that remains Aloof
Then sit there in desperation Reiterating as if you know The deep introspective answer When any fool can see your wisdom Is wrought in the vanity Of a talented dancer
If you lost the truth of sanity Would you retrieve it for ten cents Or would you search inside Before hiding from the confines Of a necessary moment I'd rather die or sacrifice my life Before cowering from what's hidden The message so raw That counts your flaws Like there was some proof In what is missing
But ultimately I guess It comes down to the small decision The chip on my shoulder That became a boulder When I reached out For my inner vision.
So while I feel so disparate and alone In the trenches losing my senses Will I be the hero or be the villain Will I let the poison make me it's toy Or take the penicillin
*Some days my life feels as heavy As that last breath left over From how loudly I shout But I guess a general synopsis to you Of how I sometimes feel inside Is a decent first step to waking up While I'm down and out
I realize that a lot of lines were taken from other poems of mine. It's supposed to be written like that