I let go.
Finding that I still care.
Placing blame as a means to cope with how I felt towards you.
The rush of things that have transpired.
The thought of things that may not be the same.
In turn I lashed out in self defense in every argument you started.
Receding every inch of my heart.
Every inch that I shared with you.
In that moment all you saw was disappointment.
That not of my own.
A deep hurt that signified love in a tender moment of hurt.
A rash thought that just wanted to grab you & shake you until you understood.
Meanwhile screaming on the inside.
Screaming for you to realize that nothing could take the place of what I felt for you.
Screaming internally for this pain to go back to the smile it use to know so adamantly.
With nothing else to do, I let go.
Falling forever in thought.
Feeling my life crash against the ground.
Nothing mattered at that time except how you perceived me.
That deep well of affection that I so wanted to fall into again and again.
That somehow that I tarnished everything that we shared.
Until I realized that you never intended to feel the way that I felt about you.
That you sought a shoulder to lean on in your own leisure.
A temporary fix