She says " I want to die"
many people question why
she can't help to think about suicide
she feels like that's the only escape
her love ones say it gets better
so she waits
she says if she leaves it can take away the pain
and she will be walking with God down a golden lane
she tries to take the meds
but then she thinks about what would happen and taking her pain away by suicide
Then she realizes if she kills herself it wont go away
it will spread, to her love ones
it hit her
she collapse and cries
knowing she can't take her life
she won't get to experience life
and knowing its not a fairy tale
she doesn't live twice
she wont be able to see the good that actually exists
knowing she will never escape
that she will never be in a better place
knowing she can't sin
knowing she can't lie
knowing she can't commit suicide
shes just stuck in this world
she starts to become more sick

Its been ten years
shedding old tears
no one cant help her
she's already sober
she is just sitting in the chair
looking out her window waiting for this to be over