staying here in this agony
a ménage with spiders
the same ones that still haunt my father
he brought them home
mother fed them
and now they have infested everything
generations of them
they hitch rides with my bags every time I move.
unwelcome ghosts
they emerge from the cracks in the walls
haunting my nights
they hover during the day
just out of reach
scuttling around in the shadows
avoiding the glare
no one else sees them
they are there just for me
watching
I hear them tapping in the timber
waiting for the shadows to lengthen

is this voluntary
do I get a choice
what are the options

symbiosis is not my choice
spiders are demanding more
now want forever inside my head
there is no mutual benefit
draw is all one way
half life is no life
I choose not to take the pact
surrender my soul
I am more than the spiders tell me
they tell lies
their poison is smoke
they need me more
than I need them
or want them
do I call the exterminators
who do you contract to get rid of the generational pain
the evil that lurks to destroy
heal the expectations of spiders at night
change the DNA
the parts soaked in grief
banish  shadows
live as me without spiders
a parable changed
conversion
I choose conversion

@journeyofdays