Have you ever felt alone?
Surrounded by talking people
But you hear nothing
Only see their lips moving.
Your lips are sealed.
You can’t find words to say
The world just shuts you out.
Somehow, being alone gets to be the new normal.
Surrounded by happiness, but you never felt your own, only imagining what it must feel like to be joyful. You crave those emotions like the sun on your skin after a cold winter day.
And in this world that we live in
Expectations consume us
They change us.
They drag us as we hold on to anything, screaming in terror
Because we are noticing that we are becoming what we said we’d never be.
Trying to be more masculine
Maybe more feminine.
More tough?
As for me,
I told myself from day 1 that I’d always be unique
I’d say to my mom
I’ll never change
I’ll always be me.
But I got older,
And the world got faster.
I heard people say
You gotta be a man.
Become a muscular, strong, independent man.
Because with being a man,
You don’t cry
Tears are for the weak.
It’s a sad thing that us men choke on our own tears,
Because men aren’t supposed to show the ocean on our cheeks.
Its painful to not feel pain.
It’s almost like a blade whispers to our heart every time we try to feel something, as we try to sympathize.
We get tangled up like a squirrel in the trap that was always there waiting for it.
But we’d rather take the scars than whisper the need for help.
I feel so dead when I cannot talk about what I need too.
I feel dead when I cannot cry when I need to cry
Because even I would rather drown in my own tears rather than let them show.
These expectations of what makes a man destroy me. .
Because all they do is create ways for people to tell me what I’m not.
They say I’m just not good enough
Not man enough
Not talented enough
As most of you know,
I make music.
According to some people, I’ve become a meme for that.
Which, in all honesty, I understand.
It isn’t everyday that you see someone doing something they’re passionate about.
And through it all,
No matter how much work I put into it,
There is still people that will hate my work.
Still people that will tell me that I’m not a man for what I do.
There are some who say that my music is a direct product to daddy issues
And maybe you’re right.
But what you don’t see
Is that I’m breaking out of my mold
And becoming me.
Rather than take this hate like a man
I decide to speak against it
And tell you why I really make music.

I perform metalcore because it is me.
Because I want you to hear my emotions
Rage,
Happiness
And every emotion between,
But if you would read the lyrics
You’d know what else I write about.
Some even with happiness.
Through music
I want you to see my tears,
I want you to see my fears
I want you to see that I am human,
Not a man.
That I have desires
That I have hope
That I have pain.
That I inspire to be something big.
I look in the mirror
And I see a failure, sure.
We all see failure in ourselves.
But when I look into my own eyes,
I see someone who has seen a lot
And someone who wants to do a lot
On stage and live.
Sort of like this
But obviously,
This is poetry.
But is poetry a manly thing either?
Stereotypically no, but unfortunately, I try not to abide to stereotypes,
That was sarcasm there.
I am a man
No matter how much I say I wont,
I will still try to match what a man should be.
But what I want you to know,
*Is that you should open your mind before your mouth.