I still can't really process
you left.
My best friend, through the
hard times and the good.
You just left.
Violated my trust and then left.
Blamed me and then left.
I put everything on us and
you just left.
I'm too scared to cry.
I'm too scared to breathe.
My mind is just in a fog
can't understand you.
Were you looking for an excuse
to leave?
Was I that bad of a friend to you?
Did you suffer the same hell
I went through for you?
Seven years, and the one time I desperately
needed you, you tell me to *******?
Do you not understand I would
do anything for you?
That you were one of the reasons
I didn't pull that trigger last night?
You leave,
block me,
don't respond,
just like that...
And that hurts me more
than my friend who killed herself,
or the second,
or the third...
the lover I lost,
all the rejections,
the family issues,
the PTSD,
all of it combined...
You never even asked
why I was suicidal last night.
What did I do to you
to think of me with such
little regard? To discard me?
We talked everyday.
I supported you through
every ****** boyfriend you had.
I did everything I could
to make sure you were okay
when your mom had the stroke.
I've written you hundreds
of heartfelt poems
(that you never would read
unless I sent them to you)
and you leave
when I cry out for help...

**Who have you become?
Because you're not the woman I knew.