I am currently sitting in class.
My body is screaming to break out
of this monotonous cycle.
If my heart beats any harder, I fear it might actually
b    u    r    s    t.

The professor is speaking but
the only words I hear are yours.
Each combination of letters and syllables that had escaped your lips
drenched me in this thick, venomous bile and
I can still feel it sloshing around in my boots now.

You took my credulous soul,
tricking me into believing you were good, you were pure,
and then ****** every drop of energy and sanity
you could get out of me
before leaving to drain another victim.

This is not the first time this has happened, either.

The amount of times I have been left for dead
has torn down my confidence and
burned my self-respect
into a crisp.

You labeled my body, “a piece of meat”,
its only use to pleasure and satisfy.
Having that beaten into my head,
literally,
I began to actually believe it.

My opinions did not matter, so my mouth should not speak.
Anytime people communicated with me was on their own time,
when they would get something out of it,
whether it be diffusing boredom, asking favors, ***, etc.
And I would give it to them,
all the while silently begging that their intentions
were not all about them.
But when they got what they wanted, they left.

What I learned-
people             will             only             use             you.
-and that is what I believed was normal
for the longest time.

Trust is difficult when the
only question running through your mind
asks what everyone's angles are.
Because everyone you
had gotten close to,
had one.