easter cool is fun when the holy day is done
because the holiday began with jesus rising from the grave
the way we celebrate's by eating candies that we crave
that strangely enough were planted in our backyards by a giant anthropomorphic bunny that stands approximately six feet four inches tall and one day decided that he would take it upon himself to commemorate the return of jesus christ our lord and savior by laying eggs full of jelly beans on the private property of innocent Americans i mean who gave this thing permission to do so how does he even lay the eggs and for that matter how does he get the candy in there did he create the candy or buy it from a supermarket if the latter is the case then how did nobody notice the  giant anthropomorphic bunny that stands approximately six feet four inches tall in the snack aisle did none of the employees at this establishment find that a little bit strange or are they used to it at this point do they just wait for the abomination against god and man to walk in once a year and buy the entire store's stock of candy and while we're on the topic how about we confront the question that we all have which is what gender is it like i know i've been saying "he" which i guess is the general assumption but still none of us know for sure maybe it doesn't even have a gender because of its  mythical and magical and legendary status which makes me wonder what gender god is because it's kind of a similar thing in a way like everybody knows the easter bunny is a thing but nobody really gives it a gender we just say "he" because why not and we do the same thing with god in the bible they say "he" and "father" so we still do today but times were different then and we live in a very progressive day and age so people are starting to question the idea of assigning a gender to a deity that we can't even see or fully comprehend so how are we supposed to figure out if it's a boy or a girl or what race it is even that's a good question too what race is god and for that matter what race is jesus many would say white but once again that's because white people during times of accepted inequality couldn't imagine their saviour being any other color but if you think about it he was born near the middle east or somewhere around that region so it seems odd that he would be white at all but who knows really maybe white people lived in the middle east back then or maybe jesus's parents were the black sheep of the place they lived in or white sheep i guess it depends on whether or not you're trying to stay accurate to the analogy or make a clever point on race by flipping it to white sheep instead of black jesus was probably seen as a black sheep okay definitely that's why they killed him and then three days later he proved them all wrong by coming back from the dead which then birthed the holiday of easter which oddly enough we celebrate by eating candy that was given to us by a giant anthropomorphic bunny that stands approximately six feet four inches tall