maybe neither of us are good people and maybe i should have seen it coming but it’s okay, for now to be grateful for things like sleeping through the night again, for waking up in my own bed again and aren’t you glad i stopped driving by your house in the middle of the night? anyway, there is nothing pure about the way i handled this
the truth is, i’ve spent too long romanticizing your loss and too little time on how filthy your hands are, touching anyone you please with no regard for the fallout, the consequences of a boy who can’t decide what he wants fast enough to spare anyone pain. you couldn’t even articulate the reasons why you left me and so i have no one to blame but myself: this body you loved was not enough, this mind, the girl (terrified) crouched at the controls was not enough for you; the consequences being she threw herself at the first person who wanted her because feeling wanted was the only way to forget
and you might think you’ve got it all under control now, a pristine life: job, car, family, girlfriend but don’t think about the body of the girl you used to love buried on the side of the highway and the months and months of memories you will not touch – and i won’t think about all the times i was waking up in another man’s bed because i wanted him to be you so badly i left my dignity out of the deal
just love; just mess, trying i can’t believe anyone was surprised