she gives me advice
and tugs at the corner of her mouth
some drugstore excuse for a smile
when i squeeze my eyes shut
because the tv
is ruining my dreams
she says things
i know are not true
but i act like she knows
more than me
she is so much
happier than me
act as if she has gotten saved
and i am still learning to swim
when i know
that she is no longer drowning
she is stuck at the bottom
of the ocean
inhaling the seawater
pretending it is oxygen
and she can breathe
just fine