You were gone a year yesterday.
When people say it gets easier, I guess I just have to suppose I'm the anomaly, the outlier, the odd one out.
Because it doesn't get easier. In fact, it gets so much ******* harder. Where it takes every piece of willpower to patch that hole in my chest.
I know it gets bigger every single time I remember that I won't ever see you again. It gaps wider as that sly smile will never be shone again, and that mischievous laugh will never sing.
Sometimes I wonder if I will ever be able to bear seeing your face in photos, or if certain memories won't ******* me into a state of disrepair.
In this moment, I find it hard to breath as regret tears down my throat, adding to the mayhem in my mind.
But in Heaven, I know you're doing all right without me. Without us. Biding your time.
But it sure as hell is hard down here.
And here's to another late night, I hope the fish are biting.