I remember my heart sinking into my stomach.
Heavy with sadness & pain.
Feeling as if I would never possess the strength to love another again.

I gave you every ounce of my being in hopes you would one day give me yours.
I loved you hard & deep so you would always feel reassured of my commitment to us.
And there's nothing I wasn't willing to do for you so you could see how I could be enough.

Yet in the midst of me being everything I thought you wanted & needed I lost myself.
Settling for much less than I deserved.
Making excuses in my mind that you didn't know better & needed time.

I was playing roles of friend, lover & wife.
Doing each one happily without compliant.
All the while failing to realize how I had no ring.

The blessing & curse of being a woman.
It's our nature to nurture & give with no restraints.
Even when reciprocity eludes us in sometimes harsh ways.

I still hear your cruel tone of how you wanted to end things.
Trying to scold me on what I did wrong.
Never acknowledging your own faults though at all.

The audacity of you to yet again leave me in pain.
It's mind blowing how someone whose image is that of a good God fearing man can cause someone so much unnecessary heartache.
It just might take a church scandal outing your truth for you to realize the errors in your ways.

I remember my heart sinking into my stomach.
Heavy with sadness & pain.
But I'm snapping out of wallowing in my misery & regaining my power of being the amazing woman I almost let you break.