You speak
And though I hear you
I am blind to the color
It makes.

You touch me
And though I feel you
I am blind to the color
It makes.

I am so proud of you,
So happy for you,
But I am blind to the color
I should be feeling.

I stare at you,
Hoping to hold onto
Your smile.
The fire in your eyes.
I memorize your laughter,
Your voice,
Your diction and inflection.

And I have nine months time
To memorize you.
To hold onto you.
To fix myself enough
That you'll want to come home.

I have nine months time,
But I'm blind to the color,
I know.

And then I'll have
Nine more months,
Give or take,
Filled with missing you.
Longing for you.
Needing you.

I memorize the lines of your face.
The shimmering blue of your eyes,
And the gold that lines your pupils.
I playback your voice, your laugh inside my head.
I stare into your colors,
And beg for them to swallow me whole,
To envelop me and deliver me from this terror.

But it can't.
Because I'm blind to your colors, too.