I couldn't stay asleep
Last night.
So when I felt your arms
Around my waist,
I have to admit,
It still comes as a shock.

I've spent years
Trying to deny
Trying to pretend
That I could love someone
Other than you,
Because it certainly seemed
Like I would never come back.

When you have nothing,
You make due with what you have.

Maybe it's cruel
That I was just making due,
Maybe it's cruel
That I used them
To replace you.
Rest assured, though.
I never loved anyone
The way I love you.

And maybe I'm a fool,
But I like the saying

"Light your past on fire,
And move on."*

Meaning burned bridges
Should stay ashes.

Thankfully our bridge never burned.
It just got left,
So that the woods surrounding
Either end
Might have gotten the chance to grow and flourish
Into one singular forest.

So as I lay,
Exhausted from insomnia and this cold,
I watch our trees grow so tall,
And I breathe in all the fog
And the smell of the leaves
And take in the chirping songs of the birds,
Eyeing hummingbirds and bluebirds.

So as I lay,
I surrender my anxious anticipation
For the other shoe to drop, so they say,
And find comfort, in this.
And find comfort, in us.