As the knife eases out of my body I feel relief. Painful relief. Relief I’ve never felt before. It’s terrifying. No pressure on the wound makes for profuse bleeding. I’m bleeding. It’s gushing out. Pouring onto everything I’ve ever known. It’s all red. All I see is red. Red soaked into all that is around me.
I black out.
The first thing I notice is that I’m still breathing. It’s unexpected. I thought I would be dead. I open my eyes. Slowly, i see light. It looks different. Maybe I am dead and I’m in heaven. Ha. Likely hell… I blink. I can see everything as it is, but it looks different. The light. It’s different. I sit up and it’s easier than I thought. “I’m definitely dead,” I think.
Where’s the pain?
The air is cleaner. The light is brighter. But i am not dead. I am alive. Breathing crystals and seeing rainbows. Tasting diamonds and holding silks. Heaven on earth.

I am alive.