i found your hoodie
on the corner of my room
when i cleaned it up this morning
and suddenly remembered
on how i hated it when
you wear snapback.
i would snatched it from your head
and hid it somewhere in my house
i even once hid it in my freezer
forgot bout it until my mom found it
you hated it when i do that
'bad hair days', you would say.
i had never told you the reason why
but i like to play with your hair

there were so many times
i choked up and swallowed back an
'i love you too's
not because i don't love you
but because i know you've someone
on the other line

you told me i sleep too much
'like a cat', you would say
i'd never told you the reason why
but that's because
i'm tired,
for my mind is running over the thoughts
of why it took you so long to reply
it would be because of her

i'd never told you how
i really liked you in those
short sleeves plaid shirts you've got
and that
navy blue hoodie
i should had done that
and i'm sorry for i stole that hoodie from you

there were times when you asked me something
and i challenged you for it
you laughed in surprise
i sat facing you on your passenger seat
legs crossed, cheek leaning on my palm
hair aside
you stared at me instead of the road
we stared at each other for a moment
even when you're driving
i could swore we looked like we were in love
or weren't we?

the last time we held hands
i traced 'i love you's on your hand
i didn't try to make the gesture noticeable
for i wanted to mark your skin
before she held it
and claimed it as her
i wrote invisible ink on your palm
for that's how i've always love you
in the silence
be your ghost

on our last day,
you probably wondered why i look so cold and distant
and yet so calm.
maybe it confirmed your uncertainty
of how heartless i was.
little do you know i barely made it
upstairs to my room without
a single tear.

you probably think on
how i'd never loved you true
or what were we
or what your feeling was to me
and i'd probably will never know
why you did what you did to me
why you hurt me
after you swore that you loved me
we were too young back then
you probably think i am happy now
i'm not
and i'm drowning
i am choking up on i love yous
and i hope you're happy
i just hope that
it was a bad timing
and not a wrong person