I suddenly remember watching you Sobbed heavily while praying for "him" "He" - who broke your heart many times The one who contributed those tears
I remember well the day when you told us All the "what - ifs" on this earth and life What would I say if you left him - forever? I answered silently, "I am now one of them"
Those tears were a testament of pain Of certain sacrifices a mother did Clinging to something - complete family And I never understood everything -
I sadly bathe in that pool of your eyes Wondering if I would become like you It was then I realized that dreadful curse Which embraced you and your sisters -
I detested then - everything I knew Of softness, of dependency, of letting go My heart was a rock founded by your tears I vowed never to surrender to anyone -
I would never ever let another hurt me And I prayed that my womb be closed That my heart be locked with no keys That my body be frigid from any touch
Years passed and I am successful with that Yet a certain longing creeps unto me - I wallow in the pit of my own curse But this ends with me - I am the end!
Dedicated to my mother... You probably didn't realize that I saw your tears and I heard your cries. Thank you for being a wonderful mother and I don't have the courage to become one.
Reading It Ends with Us by Coleen Hoover brought back certain memories that I wanted to forget.