my pain is invisible to you
as i sleep the day away
the ache never subsides
the fear never fades
and the clock ticks
there goes another day
another tear
another night of crying
through the pain
alone in suffering
in an agonizing way
and the world just keeps turning
as i yearn to watch it spin
the end of the rope is tied
yet my faith is not secure
it's the fear that keeps hope dead
it's the past; the memories
that fill me with dread
it's all i have endured
be still in the shadows
i try to coat my doubts
fear in light exposes weakness
and to you i'm a nuisance
a burden
you blow the candles out
i try with every drop of blood
to keep this soul in circulation
don't let it win
i say
*clench your fists
grind your teeth
grasp the demon in his realm
don't accept his invitation*
but there's the dread
but there's the pain
but there's the inability to cope
you see this thing
it has you by the throat
ready to slash and slice and take your
LIFE!
and so i crumble
not from being weak
but from remaining too strong
from carrying the weight of oceans and rivers and valleys and mountains and plains travelled
far too long
oh the hurt it subsides at times
though it is never absent
i ask God to heal
what the world says can't be
and so i take what lemons they hand me
in hopes that someone keeps their word
promising a happy ending
a cure
in the time being as i lay here
in the dark thinking about tomorrow
and where i might go
all i ask is for your grasp
please don't let me walk alone