Green-apple pings off of a shelf, just misses his ear, watermelon scores a direct hit to the back of his throat. … askin’ for it... the ****... short ******… Woken mid rant, we don’t hear the rest, not yet. Straight-faced to the telly, feeling confusion pierce the backs of our heads- dontlaughdontlaughand dontlookatme. Silently we pray to the gods of Friday night and sour candy, that he’ll nod off and start snoring before one of us pops into a neon-snot-mess of giggles. It’s taken too long and we’ve eaten half our ammunition, but he’s at it again. We grin. Retrieve pink and green missiles from 'round the chair legs, listening to what he’d do to her.