Once upon a time I believed in a God that wanted nothing but the best for me

I believed in an extraterrestrial being that wanted to hold me up and say "I have a plan for you, sweet child."

But when I was 16 I almost killed myself by crashing into a tree because I felt so unworthy, so unloved that I couldn't possibly bare one more day

I was let down so many times, lied to infinitely, and finally after 7 months of prayer with no response I said '**** it' and let go of the imaginary man that was supposed to have my back