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Sep 2016
part i.
this was the first.
i ached for you to grow a backbone
as strong as the one
you always pretended to have.

you crushed the positivity and optimism
i falsely provided
in hopes you would find it comfortable.
it was never comfortable.

your mother peaked over you shoulder
to ensure you left me.

you made me stop smoking
but i never really did.
it felt like a dream beneath parking lot lights
as the smoke filled my lungs.

at least now i’m free.
does this mean i can **** other people?


part ii.
it was the summertime
your breath was as hot as the pavement
i willingly put my barefeet on
to meet you by the curb

you were at the beach
sober
i was in my bed
drunk.

you talked about faith
and constant comparison
of who you are and who you were
nothing was good enough for you.

i had no intentions of hurting you
letting you cry into the sand
next to a person who didn’t even know my name
but intentions aren’t always executed

i ripped your love from my chest
and tossed it to the side.

part iii.
it only took three months.
if i had to prioritize the losses of that winter
you are not ranked number one
not even number two.

i did not cry for you
it made me sick
you made me sick.

i clang to a bottle of whiskey
sulking in regret
but not for you
it was never for you.

i thought about your father
the way he exuded disappointment
the first time we met.
it was almost a game to me.

i thought about your mother
i imagine she cried and cried and cried
reminding you of who you were
to anchor you to the picturesque daughter
she had always dreamed of.

i thought about your brother
he was a joke to me.
the stature of a man
with the demeanor of a child.

we were never going to last forever
not even in my best dreams.

part iv.
this one was the worst.
it hurt the most.
i don’t think you cared.

why are you here

your main talent was making me feel
unloved
unimportant
unwanted
i don’t know why i stuck around

this one hurt the most.
forced conversation reminded me
we don’t have enough in common
and you’re not that interesting.

i knew everything about you
while you didn’t know me
how was i the person you loved
when you didn’t know me

why do you even want to stay
just go home.


part v.
this was the end.
finally.
i wanted to call you a liar
and tell you i never really trusted you
but i held it in

i don’t think i was in love with you
not anymore
not the way i used to be
not the way i wanted to be
not the way i pretended to be.

you always should have known
i wouldn’t be the person
you could live the rest of you life with
you never stay with your first.
i knew that in the beginning.

maybe we’ll get back together in the future
or maybe i’ll never hear from you again.
kenny
Written by
kenny  houston
(houston)   
369
   mk and Doug Potter
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