We sit in your kitchen.
you're playing on your phone,
and you don't know, do you?

my nightmares
as of late,
are mostly about losing you.

I can handle pain.
I've been beaten and bloodied.
I cannot handle
the feeling of complete desolation
of my heart
that is losing you.

but I do not fear it,
for sins do not hold to fear
with great power.

no, rather than focusing on the fear,
I will allow you further
within the walls you have not seen closed,
yet.

I do not wish to shut you out,
but my survival instinct
screams that I'm letting you in
too far
that you know
too much.

that I should not
trust.
slow to trust
quick to love,
I have always been this way.

but trusting you is too easy,
it just happens.
it's natural,
child's play.

you don't even know,
do you, Bluebird?

the way I look at you
the way I've torn open my ribcage
to show you every dark, vulnerable part?
everything scarred and broken.

it's yours
and no one elses.

but I can't help but to think
I've shown you too much.

too many shadows.
too many scars.

I have too much baggage
and too much fear
I do not
carry it well.