I remember the first breath of life
the blinding light of an innocent world
and the warmth of love and endearment.

I remember the first wobbly steps
through gurgles of a language only I understood
and the toothless smile reflected off my twin on the wall.

I remember the first spark of friendship
when I laughed and you laughed
and we smiled as the red string around our fingers tightened.

I remember the first pounding of my heart
when I locked eyes with smiling eyes
and I swore my heart was racing with the winds.

I remember the first ***** of betrayal
with screams and stares of hate and anger
hands trembling as we cut off the tied red string on our fingers.

I remember the first swell of pride
when I presented a night’s worth of work
and was showered with praise and adoration with smiles painted everywhere.

I remember the first door to literature
with the intoxicating smell of ink and weathered down pages
and lives spoken through words and feelings.

I remember my first shattered heart
frozen and numb with shock and acceptance
with thoughts only on why?

I remember the first light of love
through hugs and accepting smiles
adding to my growing smile and happiness.

I remember the first heartfelt separation
with happy excitement and tearful goodbyes
as I left without looking back.

I remember the first new beginning
as I stared at the foreign neighborhood
and wondered about the million possibilities that laid within it.

I remember the first dawning realization
when I stood alone and clueless
and knew that nobody would come to help me.

I remember the first timid attempt
as I spoke up and tried to connect
desperately clawing myself out of my protective hole.

I remember the first true smile
laughing and giggling and chuckling with friends
in the open air of freedom away from the confined hole.

I remember the first repeats into my shell
when being brave and assertive was too much
and the hole seemed so much more than just a jail.

I remember the first self-hatred
with fear imprinted in my eyes
and how could I let myself continue this way?

I remember the first new change
from the moldable girl who lost her way
to the fiery girl who decided to carve her own path.

I remember the first self-love
when I looked in the mirror and didn’t flinch
as I saw a beautiful girl who worked for what she wanted.

I remember many things,
many firsts of my life,
many positives and negatives,
many unforgettable moments,
which still continue on within a girl;
on and on until the end of time.