I dragged the heavy barrel across my throat.  Cold metal scraped the anger from my flesh, leaving delicate raised hairs on my pale, freckled skin. Paused for a moment to consider but decided against it and brushed my cheek tenderly with the slide.  My eyelids fluttered slowly and a pleasure stirred between my fatty thighs.

The last time.  I sighed in serenity and surrendered myself to my ego for the last time.  I briefly let myself believe that what I was going to do, meant something.  Though, a little deeper inside I knew the truth.  I knew it wasn’t going to mean ****.  

The muzzle now rested on my lips.  My tongue slipped between them and played a muscle memory of lust.  I wanted it like I had wanted nothing before… because I had wanted nothing before.  This world offered nothing.  

Click.

The last thing I heard was a single breath, one slow inhalation.