Phantasm**

Snow boarding down the snow laden
mountain side,
air rushing past
reddening my cheeks
with clouds of snow dust;
dodging tall pines
and the occasional rocks,
then elevating into a double loop
with full twisting smile
as I land and glide
into your warm embrace,
looking into your eyes.
And I realize suddenly,
I walk accompanied by ghosts.
I follow along behind imaginary people,
maybe stark in their colors,
but fantasy’s phantasm
just the same.
And I finally understand
that every word you wrote
and I fell in love with,
never really belonged
or even existed for me,
even though they filled
my life with meaning.
~~~~
Isn’t it ironic
how simple acts,
like snow boarding,
listening to music,
or re-reading every message
you ever sent me,
allows me to see
what is real and not.
~~~~
Still, I must ask,
were you ever real?
Or was it just my desire
to know you,
to look you in the eye honestly
and be able to smile.
It’s a terrible thing
to see you as myth;
to fantasize you more than you are,
cause you are,
as you are,
pretty something.

Aztec Warrior/redzone 5.7.17