You are an indulgence I no longer crave
because of the bitter after taste

You are stomach aches
shaking hands and sweaty palms
as I hesitate to muster up an answer

as to why I am awake right now
looking at olds pictures

You are wrinkled paper
from old and unused drafts

what we had never made it to the surface
so I regret
ever thinking you were anything that you said


I swore I would forget you by now
and how I lost 15 pounds the week following the day
you told me you no longer loved me

but here I am
drunk again,
writing words that do not take away the pain
but only mask the fact that I will never have you again

thank god you are nothing to be but a stomach ache
something I can make go away
something I do not hold in my heart anymore


you are not in my heart anymore
but only in my brain
and for that I laugh,
because I will become distracted and happy once again