I want to go back,
to the time in my life where I had not a single care.
To a time where existing,
was much easier than it is now.
Take me back to when I hadn't been touched,
by the harsh reality of what was in my head.
Where monsters didn't dwell within me,
and I wasn't drowning in my own thoughts.
I want to go back,
to where people weren't toxic splotches in my life.
Why can't we go back to skipping rope,
and the only cuts we worried about were scraped knees.
Smoke came from fires,
instead of cigarettes.
Sleepovers turned into ***,
candy into drugs.
Our cups aren't filled with juice,
but filled to the brim with our alcohol of choice.
Keeping secrets was for jokes,
not to make us seem fine.
We were home when the street lights came on,
and now were creatures of the night.
The dark scared us,
now it is our greatest friend.
We were such innocent children,
wanting to grow up so soon.
We had a glimmer in our eyes,
that's now replaced with a dead blank look.
Why were we so eager to want to face this nasty world.
I am no longer that young,
ambitious,
excited,
lively little girl.
I have become a
numb,
anxious minded,
dead,
damaged teenager.
And this is what this world,
and society has done to me.

T.B.