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May 2016
Terrified... no... not terrified
Mad?  Of course I am mad!
Stircken with madness!

My every emotion heightened
I can hear and feel every sound from heaven, earth, and hell

Impossible to describe when or  how she started to haunt me so.
All day and night in dreams she walked with me.  
Something in her voice... something dancing there in her words
And those eyes, eyes more endless than the oceans
Yes, her eyes!

Yes, her eyes drove me into this insanity.
Her eyes, heavy in dark storms, dancing with demons,
Hiding beauty not meant for mortals to gaze upon
And in their darkness hides something more
Something covered by such black grace
Guarded and tormented by devil and beast

Her   HEART

I dare say this
In no napping nor no dreaming
Will you find
No treasure, no paradise, no living creature
Could be as lovely
As her heart
And her poor heart trapped there
In this private hell


What was I to do?
She hardly knew my name but already
I found myself desperate for her affection...


I awoke in the middle of the night
My soul on fire
My body drenched in longings warmth
My chest ready to burst with madness
The devil sitting at the end of my bed
Politely sipping tea
"Bad dream?" He said with a snicker in his teeth
"No...no... I know..."
He inhaled deeply,
"I can smell it on you."
His teeth growing wider with his smile.
"Love...that's it, isn't it?"
I answered not...
Nothing good would come of it...
He had murdered my heart and soul before
More than once or twice
"Come, come now, son... you know I mean no harm."
The devil continued
"What a beautiful sight, this dream of yours.  Oh... those eyes... You poor boy, you never had a chance"
He laughed and sipped and sipped and laughed.

"Love sweet love... Is there nothing more sickly heavenly than love.  You fools will do everything and anything for it...
Lie, cheat, steal, ******...
Anything that is, accept,... treat it well
"

And ****
He was gone

He was right though
My own heart
Dead and buried beneath the floor boards of my soul
Hidden in the darkness
Safe from the ills and pains and beauty of  

LOVE

And it was my own hands
And sinister villainous laughter
That had murdered and buried it there
So long ago
Never never
Wanting to feel its beat again
Its foolish beating

Beat beat
Beating

Too high and too quick
Had it flown
Loving and then breaking
Leaving me alone to
Its heartache and woe
Too many times
Too many times to bare
So I hid in the dark from it
Standing still for many days
So still for many nights
Until it knew not where I was
It trembled to think itself alone
It cried there and I nearly laughed
Frozen I remained
Listening to it beat and cry and cry and beat
Then quickly I leapt upon it
And grasped it with both hands
Suffocating the life from it
Holding it down waiting
For its beating

Its beat beat
Beating to stop

And it slowed
And slowed and slowed
Until at last
It stopped
And I knew, oh I smiled to know
I knew I was forever more
Safe from the ills and pain and beauty of

LOVE


I wept, oh how I wept
Why is a heart so magnificent
So lost and troubled in despair
Her heart, so weary
So dreary
Such painful beating

Beat, beat
Beating

Right outside
My dreaming

Dream, dream
Dreaming

What could I do
Other than sit and watch
The horror of this show
My hands no more than ghosts
My voice ached to silent screams
If I could only help
If I could only love

LOVE
Her  HEART


And then I heard it...
Softly
Slowly
My dead heart

My dead
Dead heart

Pounding gently beneath the floor boards
Lost in the darkness of my soul
It grew louder
It grows louder still
I must be hearing its ghost
It cannot be

My dead
Dead heart

But louder and louder
It rang in my ears
My soul trembled from the sound of its beating

Its beat beat
Beating

For the ills and pains
Of love
This could not be
I paced the darkness
In nervous strides
My heart
Was to forever
Remain lifeless and lost
Beneath forgotten floorboards
Deep deep down
In the bowels
Of my lonely soul
I felt its death
Felt it give its last breath and beat
In mine own murderous hands

The ills and pains of love
Macking ridicule of my past deed
No! No... it mustn't be...
Louder... louder... it rang
Sound reverberating from
The hollow of

My dead
Dead heart

Faster and harder and louder
It pounded relentlessly
Pounding like the wings of a mad black bird
Echoing laughter from its beak made of devils horn
I heard... I knew...

That beat
Beat beating

Death had released my heart
Unable to hold and hide and keep it safe from
The ills and pains...
And most of all...
The beauty of

LOVE

No slower than lightning
My heart burst forth
Shattering the hidden floorboards
Splintering the depths
Of my soul
With new ills and pains and beauty of

LOVE

Off it flew
Such foolish flight
Drunk with courage
Oh that stupid stupid heart

Beat beat
Beating

A fools quest
A knights death
Off it went
Beating its black wings
Off toward devil and beast and despair
Guided by the sound
Of her heart
The painful

Beat beat
Beating

That beautiful sound
Right outside my

Dream, dream
Dreaming
Akira Chinen
Written by
Akira Chinen  122/M/texas
(122/M/texas)   
684
       ryn, Keith Wilson, --- and ---
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