love,

months swiftly passed
since that enchanted night
i never wished to end,
as it was then that i first
laid my hands,
and my eyes,
unto yours.

i have been wildly spinned
throughout the dance,
and eventually,
throughout your world.

it was those dazzling eyes
that hooked me most
without an utterance of a word.
it was those precious gems
that connected us,
that made me fall in love
with you more.

but only then did it hit me,
i didn't want to fall in love.
what i wanted was to grow in love.
and you don't make me grow.

i know and i accept
that letting you go
and setting you free means
letting you love someone else.
but love,
it is that i am in doubt.

i did not dream of a love
full of doubt, full of lies,
and overflowing with fear.
i did not dream of a love
full of questions
and full of secrecies.
or maybe,
i just did not dream of a love
with you.

i could not stand to feel that
you are mindful of my pretense
but you smile and refuse
to believe i am lying to you.
i could not stand to feel
the sadness i give you
that you hide
and that i am inept to solace.

i am afraid that one day
i might wake up to see you
happy for being with me
but you don't see the same.

love,
my feelings did not
gradually fade.
it vanished in a snap
and i am afraid
it might be back, too,
at once.

i doubt you accept me again
when my love returns,
or when my love is sure,
and i doubt i might
let you go again.
but by that time,
if you've found the rightful one,
let me apologize for being unable
to control my feelings back then -
my feelings today.

honey,
there is nothing wrong with you,
nor is there with me,
but there is with us.

love,
you need not to hurt anymore,
so for the last time,
i love you and good bye.

i loved you.
good bye.