I wish time space travel was real, like in Interstellar. (it's funny really, I went to see that movie with the boy I tried to date after you. after 3 months I hadn't even tried to kiss him, I just kept thinking that he's too tall, and his hairs too short, and he doesn't appreciate the sky or call me princess.)
but if I could travel through the time line of space I would visit the dimensions in which we made it. where forever exists inside of us.
I want to see our daughters hair, I want to see if she has your blue eyes and your smile, God I hope so. I want to see you throw her up in the air and catch her and blow a raspberry on her tummy. i want to watch you teach her self love, and teach her what kind of man is allowed to love her. I want to hear her call you daddy, I want to see your face light up.
I want to see our son. I hope he's like you. I hope he's kind and smart and loving. I hope he cares just as much as you do. I want to watch you teach him respect, and how to love correctly.
come to think of it, I just hope they're like you in every way. I know how great of dad you will be, without having to see it.
I want to see the dimension where we get married. I want to see my wedding dressing, I want to hear the story of how we fell in love. I want to see the love in your eyes that says you want to stay forever. I want to see the dimension in which you stay forever. I want to see my signature with your last name attached.
I want to fast forward to see our children grown. I want to see what we made, who we raised. I hope they're happy. I think we would have made them happy.
I want to see the holidays with your family and my family and our family. I know in this dimension you're the only gift I ever need.
I want to see the fights, the blowouts, the hard times. I want to see what we made it through. I want to see how we handled it. I want to see how we made it last forever in this dimension.
I want to fast forward to when we're old and grey. I want to see your wrinkles. I want to see you with a cane in one hand and my hand in your other. I want to see the smile lines on our faces from the life time of happiness we created. I want to see the love radiating off of us.
if I could travel through time and space I would want to see the dimensions in which you stayed, in which we found each other at the right times. I want to witness the love I felt so deeply continue. I need to see what we would have made for ourselves. I need to see that the love was real, if only time space travel was.
here I am still writing about my ex again.