my thoughts shout so loud i can't even understand what exactly they're all screaming, clutter clutter clutter

and i wonder what it'll feel like tonight as i sleep alone, knowing i too am alone for the first time in what feels so long- that your foot wont be there to touch mine and i can't hold on to you when i'm having a bad dream. i wonder if my thoughts will still yell so loudly or if there too I'll find silence.

i cannot fathom life without you but i surely will have to start