Your smell is still on the tip of my nose
I can see it
I can feel it.
And your screams still run from ear to ear
Like when I was a child and mommy never came home.
In the night I see my blackened legs and arms
And you sitting on the ceiling
Taking my breath from above me
Holding me down with the force of a million fists
Your fists.
But now I always wake up
Instead of being trapped in the night for eternity
And I find myself so relieved to hear that
You have been gone for more than a year
But it feels like yesterday you got sent away
when I was crying in the corner you sent me to
Praying to God
Who I never believed in before
but then you were finally taken away
And now I thank God
every single day.

But I can thank you
Because if I had never met you
I would still be in that same corner
With a gun to my head
Letter on the bed
Shaking like a wet dog
And wishing I was dead.