when i was a little girl, i'd always dream of a happily ever after. i'd imagine myself as cinderella, with a perfect gown and shoes and hair, in a castle with a prince who loved me so dear.

it was cute, hoping that my fantasies would someday come true. but once upon a time, i grew up. i realized that there were no happily ever afters, and that life was just a constant battle with everyone around you. i thought about my gown, and how there'll always be a pull in the fabric somewhere; my shoes, how they'll eventually make my feet ache to an unbearable point; my hair, how its curls will fall when i dance; my castle, how its size will make me feel so lonely; and my prince, how he will inevitably leave me or hurt me or play me, or all of the above.

but you helped me see the light, my prince. you made me forget all the negativities of royalty. when i am with you, i am happy. and happiness is all i want, all i need. does that mean that all i need is you?

you made me forget that you were of royal blood, and i was not; that you never had to lift a finger, and i had to work night and day to simply survive; that you were loved and needed and sought after, and i was neglected and insignificant and never anyone's number one.

but what i thought to be amnesia for the better, wasn't, and like everything else, gave me a false sense of hope that life was beautiful. i pity noble and peasant girls when they think royalty is complete and utter bliss, for they are greatly misinformed. it is all a show, which, no matter how sadistic, deserves a standing ovation.

and sometimes i wish i were little me again, free of sadness and pain; clueless of the horrors of this world. but reality checks in and reminds me that there's no such thing as a rewind or a replay, and time will not stop or slow down or repeat itself. not for me at least.