Wait a minute buddy
Is this some sort of joke
No one told me this would happen
The moment I got old

That all my youthful vigor
Would be replaced with aches and pains
And that I would barely remember
My first let alone last name

And that all the pills I'm taking
Would be my meal replacement
I should buy stock in Advil
I'd be a millionaire if you know what I'm saying

Luckily I'm not there yet
Where diapers are a necessity
Guess I have to thank my prostate
Keeping the *** from running freely

And the hair that used to be
On top this shinny head
In my early 50's dug a tunnel
That now comes out my nose instead

Every morning when I wake up
I'm now wondering who, what, when, and why
Heaven looks a lot like my bedroom
When I feel like I have died

Guess all those old farts in the home are laughing
Over the wool they've pulled for fun
But don't worry all you young whipper snappers
Your day is soon to come

Yes someone somewhere is cackling
At this the cruelest joke
Though I find nothing funny
About me growing old