Apr 2016
She saw my flaws… she saw me raw, vulnerable… naked from the inside out
She saw me and I was scared, frighten by how the truth was coming out, how I couldn’t hide it any longer…
I thought I was pretending so well that everything was fine;
I was trying to pretend that I had forgotten about my past, about those stupid envelopes that kept on showing up at my door…
I was pretending… but the truth was sitting right there on my desk, piling up… just exposing my truth…
I had tried to forget; I just left it there pretending it didn’t exist… but I felt anxious… my past looking at me from my desk… I tried hoarding it in my trunk, but I couldn’t stop it from showing up at my door… month by month, the reminder was there…
The reminder of a life I used to have with someone else for so many years, kept on showing up… I did not want to acknowledge that life any longer… I wanted to pretend that it had vanished…
But she, took a hold of that life… and as she saw me panicked she assured me that it was ok…
One by one she made me open the envelopes, she made open up and face the truth…
She ripped up papers that didn’t matter, made me look at the ones that did…
She kissed me and looked at me with kindness and love…
I felt naked… did not know what was going to come of this… I was ******* scared, anxious, vulnerable… but once she started… I just let her take over… the bandied had to ripped off with one pull… So…with every opened envelope she helped me face the truth…
My desk… I could start seeing the shiny brown wood that had been hidden for months once again…
White ripped up piles of paper on the floor… my past… my life… ripped up, thrown, crumbled … it looked back at me …
But it was done. She sat next to me as I looked to the ground… She sat next to me… she understood.
She helped put what was left of the papers in the trash… and helped me realize it was over. That part at least… was over…
She saw me vulnerable… raw, naked from the inside out… She saw me.
She said she knew… and that it was ok.
After all, she is my mirror… walls do not exist between us… not even glass… just those eyes that always look at mine… just a smile… waiting for mine. Just warm touch, gentle kisses… no judgment, but strength.
She saw me… just like I see her.
She saw me and I was scared, frighten by how the truth was coming out, how I couldn’t hide it any longer…
I thought I was pretending so well that everything was fine;
I was trying to pretend that I had forgotten about my past, about those stupid envelopes that kept on showing up at my door…
I was pretending… but the truth was sitting right there on my desk, piling up… just exposing my truth…
I had tried to forget; I just left it there pretending it didn’t exist… but I felt anxious… my past looking at me from my desk… I tried hoarding it in my trunk, but I couldn’t stop it from showing up at my door… month by month, the reminder was there…
The reminder of a life I used to have with someone else for so many years, kept on showing up… I did not want to acknowledge that life any longer… I wanted to pretend that it had vanished…
But she, took a hold of that life… and as she saw me panicked she assured me that it was ok…
One by one she made me open the envelopes, she made open up and face the truth…
She ripped up papers that didn’t matter, made me look at the ones that did…
She kissed me and looked at me with kindness and love…
I felt naked… did not know what was going to come of this… I was ******* scared, anxious, vulnerable… but once she started… I just let her take over… the bandied had to ripped off with one pull… So…with every opened envelope she helped me face the truth…
My desk… I could start seeing the shiny brown wood that had been hidden for months once again…
White ripped up piles of paper on the floor… my past… my life… ripped up, thrown, crumbled … it looked back at me …
But it was done. She sat next to me as I looked to the ground… She sat next to me… she understood.
She helped put what was left of the papers in the trash… and helped me realize it was over. That part at least… was over…
She saw me vulnerable… raw, naked from the inside out… She saw me.
She said she knew… and that it was ok.
After all, she is my mirror… walls do not exist between us… not even glass… just those eyes that always look at mine… just a smile… waiting for mine. Just warm touch, gentle kisses… no judgment, but strength.
She saw me… just like I see her.
