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Mar 2016
Daddy said to love him, all it would take was a touch
To not disappoint him, a kiss would do
That to be a man, first you have to know how to please one
If not, then he'd tell mommy and she'd hate me

Mommy drinks her days away
Doesn't see when daddy's too rough, when daddy leaves marks
Mommy's too busy seeing the pretty colors I can't see
Says the happy pills are our little secret,
That the silver water is to help her heal;
Tells me to go bother my big brother instead

My big brother,
Oh he's always ignored
Not even when he comes home with trophies and medals do they care
They don't even see the slices on his wrists...
Or maybe they just don't care
Maybe that's why big brother decided to watch me from above
Maybe that's why big brother gave me one last hug, one last 'I love you'
Before he closed his eyes for the last time
To sleep the eternity away

As for me
Oh the years have passed but I still have a smile on my face
Daddy's in prison being treated like how he treated me
Now he'll know how to please a man, I know I do

Mommy's six feet under
The pretty colors were too strong
The funny smoke didn't want to say good-bye
So it took mommy with it
And now neither can hurt my lungs nor my heart

But here I stand as I place flowers on the grave of my cowardly brother
How long did it take before it all became too much?
Did he please daddy too? Is that why daddy would beat and hate him?
Did he see the pretty colors like mommy? Is that why he fell in eternal slumber?
Or was he too weak to endure? To survive with the filth left from our parents?

Now I walk away, free of sin
Free of love
Free of pain
Now, I'm all that's left of my broken family...

Like daddy, I now yearn for the touch of a male, but a man, not a boy
Like mommy, I know see the pretty colors, but I'm not shackled like she was by them
And like my big brother I too have matching scars on my wrists
A depressing piece, but it's not like it's not something that doesn't actually happen. Life and can be cruel, especially when you try to hide it from others, and deny the ugliness. Don't be a coward, if you see abuse, do something about it. Maybe then society wouldn't be comprised of broken souls who hide from one another.
Javier  Garza
Written by
Javier Garza
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