Woken up at 1:00am
Dad's screaming
Swearing
Punching
Grabs me and shakes me
Why is he doing this?
What did I do wrong?
Confused more than I've ever been
Mom comes in
Grabs dad
Tells him to stop
Dad gets angrier
Throws things
Hole in the wall
Mom's crying
Tears drop to the floor
Tells dad he's a monster
A lunatic
She runs out of the room
Dad tears blankets away
Tells me I need to grow up
And I still don't even know what I've done
Now there's a hole in me
And it's irreparable
It's too big to fix
Fear, sadness, regret,
All eating away at me
And I wonder to myself
Is it even worth it to be alive?
Could I just end it all this very moment?
Would my parents even care?
All I want to do is make them happy, proud
Yet I've torn them apart
Made them hate me
All I'm thinking now is
"Lord forgive me, help me redeem myself for what I've done"
But I'm scared
Scared because I don't think I'll ever be able to fix this
This hole might just be too big and too deep
This blemish will stick with me forever