Do you like charisma?
Do you like stamina?
Perhaps with a certain degree of integrity
And a bit of leadership
If you find these qualities to be evident
Then I could very well become your next president

I know how to balance
From center-left to center-right
From radicalism to conventionalism
How to be the best non-established established candidate
I’d put your money to good use
As I use gilded words in golden speeches

I won’t lose my head
While dominating the headlines
And keep on smiling while
Barnstorming amidst the blunt and the bigots
Debating with the decadents and the destructive
I can easily pretend
So I could very well become the next president

So primarily, I need to win this primary
I’ll put my money where my mouth is
If you put your money in a SuperPAC
Donate to liberate this country!
Vote to promote the road of progress!
And in time, America will be mine